Hi everyone.
I've been dating my boyfriend for four years now.
I live at home because I'm still finishing College which is very close to home.
My boyfriend was renting before, but recently moved into his friend's house because it was close to his work, and free.
I go there and stay for a couple of days every week.
His friend, however, offered another one of his female friends the same thing he offered to my boyfriend.
So now this girl is moving into the house as well.
Since she stays there, she cooks every meal for them.
Even though I know that this is not a big deal, I feel slightly jealous of her.
So I feel a bit like she is taking away my girlfriend role. (I used to cook for my boyfriend when he had his own place.)
And because her English is not very good, my boyfriend and his friend tend to help her out with a lot of things.
She's also very tiny, so my boyfriend helped a lot with her moving in. Lifting her stuff, etc.
This all makes me feel kind of jealous.
Also, this morning I got very unhappy over something small my boyfriend said. It is really cold here because the furnace is broken. This morning, my boyfriend set up a portable heater in our room for me because I'm very sensitive against the cold, but then he said to me, "You can offer the heater to her later, if her room is cold."
And it made me feel very jealous, because it's as though he feels that he needs to take care of her as well.
I don't want to over react to this whole thing.
I just want an opinion from you girls to see how I should handle it.
Temperley London
Givenchy
Hanky Panky
Handle what? She's a roommate, he's a nice guy. I dont think he's doing anything wrong, you're simply jealous because he is paying attention to her as well. I think you need to control it and instead look at it from a different point of view, your boyfriend is such an awesome guy! He is a gentleman and hardwired to help people out and protect women. It's a good thing, just think how great of a dad he would be. Also, she is living in a place with free rent. The least she can do is cook. If you want to cook for him then kick your parents out and invite him for dinner at your place.
Bottom line, he's doing nothing wrong so get over yourself.
1Ah sweetheart, jealousy is a natural reaction since you're not used to having another female living with him.
From the look of it, he's just helping her out and being a gentleman. Nothing to make a big deal about, unless he's not treating you well and put her needs above yours, then it's an issue (and a red flag as well).
My hubby had to live with his ex-gf (as a roomie) and her fiancee for a few months when he was between houses and if he mistreated her or be rude to her while they're roomies (at that time they're friends-only), I'd probably have a second thought about being serious with him.
I agree with Fallen, since she moves in there free, of course, cooking for them is the least she can do LOL. But if you want to cook for them, tell her the day so that she doesn't have to cook that day and that you'll cook for them. Your bf's friend sounds super nice, you never know, he (your bf's friend/the owner of the house) may want to 'hit that' (I'm referring to the girl) that's why she's in there for free.
I hope though your bf will end up moving out and getting a place to stay on his own later on. I mean, as nice as the friend is...it's kind of weird to have him there without any time limit of the stay.
*Unconditional love is a beautiful thing, just be sure to give it AFTER your conditions have been met.*
2Your jealousy is understandable. It just comes down to the two of you at the end of the day. Is your relationship solid, and do you trust me?
That's it. I think anyone would be jealous. It just comes down to trust and who your SO is.
3I agree with the Fallen on all counts.
4STOPPP being insecure jeeeez! Just because the girl has a vagina doesn't mean he's all about her..He sounds like a nice guy trying to help out, not a guy trying to bang another chick. Insecurity and jealousy are sooo ugly on girls and it will make him resent you and turn him off a bit if you keep showing him that side of you. My boyfriend has had a female roommate for yearssss and do I care??? NOOOO!! I'm secure with my boyfriend and know he loves me very very much. so get over it!
5I would be proud that I had such a thoughtful, considerate bf.
6I think it's natural to be kind of jealous. I mean, are you really jealous of her in a way that you're afraid the two of them are going to mess around? Or are you just jealous because she gets to live with your boyfriend and you don't? (Kinda how you can feel jealous of your older friend who gets to drive a car first.) If it's the second type, just remind yourself that college isn't forever, one day you'll have a job, and the two of you will be able to think about getting your own place together.
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