I have been dating this guy for 4 months and ever since we have been arguing. They say if it feels like a chore in the beginning it will feel like that during marriage. But I think part of it starts with me. His ex girlfriend was a good friend of mine (still like to think she is). But she was way younger than him. My boyfriend and I are both 28 years old. I feel like I have to compete with her, that he doesn't love me the way he loved her. He also cheated on her and partied a lot. But since we have been together, he doesn't go out to bars anymore, doesn't even drink that much and I see him every day. Yet we always argue. Is it me? Should I leave him because of that? Am I just insecure? please help....I really do love him though. I know he loves me too but not the way I want.
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I think you just answer your own question. You know he loves you but not the way you want him to love you, is there any more question needed asking? You can't make the guy to fall for you the way you want him to, it's gotta be natural from his side.
Seriously. 4 months is supposed to be super honey-moon time in any new relationship, even when I dated the dude I was good friend with (although I've known him for a long time). If you're fighting because of your insecurity, maybe just maybe, your gut feeling is telling you something, if not, maybe you're just paranoid. Either way, it may also be that you guys are just not compatible as lovers, only as friends.
1There's no way you love someone after 4 months. You're into him more than he's into you. It's time to go. If he wants you back, he'll try harder the second time around.
2You're dating your good friend's ex boyfriend... and he cheated on her and partied alot... and now you're fighting all the time because you're afraid he loved her more then he loves you... that about right? Dump him and find someone who isnt a complete tool.
3I second Fallen
4I agree with everybody else. You did answer your own question, "you know he loves you, but not the way you want." People don't change, he won't start loving you the way you want. Quit thinking he will change or get better. Leave him and find someone who is what you want.
5Yikes! You have only been together four months and you fight all the time! Not a good sign, early in your relationship you should still be in your 'honeymoon' phase and happy like 90% of the time (as hope2be said). If you really think that he really loved his ex more than you and yet he cheated on her all the time, what makes you think he will treat you any better????
6Again, WHY are you dating this guy? It seems like a miserable relationship. And his ex was a friend of yours, you "still like to think she is". Good luck with that.
I am going out on a limb here and guessing you are seeing him partly to get over on your "friend". It is probably more about that dynamic than really wanting to be with him. You say he cheated on her, pray, did he do that with you?
I would leave this relationship and really ask yourself why you started it to begin with.
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