You have definitely NOT broken yourself! I am happy you broke out of your "box" and realized that your sexuality is very natural, and is also a beautiful thing! Since you have been masturbating then you obviously have realized how the buttons work down there. If you (and your boyfriend) are brave, you should take a trip to your local sex shop and buy a small vibrator. There are small ones that are inexpensive and not intimidating, and it is great thing to have when you are alone, and for when you are with your boyfriend. I would suggest getting a small bullet one and trying it out yourself. I think that your fantasies of sex and submission can be fufilled. Imagine your boyfriend roleplaying with you, maybe spanking you or dominating you. If thinking about sex with him doesnt work, try putting him into your fantasy! Then, maybe you can try out a little role playing with your boyfriend! Have him spank you, and pull your hair, lightly at first and see where it goes from there. He can also use the vibrator on you during sex, and i can almost guarantee an out of this world orgasm. Dont be afriad to experiment but always remember to have safe sex, and if you do venture out and buy a vibrator, make sure you keep it clean (sex toys are bacteria breeding grounds). I hope this helps you and remember that your sexuality is an amazing gift that needs to be explored! have fun!!

No no no, you've not broken yourself! Danizzle has a great idea. Congratulations on being able to break out of the box, realizing what 'works' and stuffs. Try incorporating your bf in your fantasy when you two are having sex (like danizzle said, get a small vibrator, and try doing the spanking, punishing stuffs with him).

Instead of thinking negative (like you've 'broken' yourself) consider yourself in an 'adventure.' Explore and have fun with your bf (and also yourself). As for achieving orgasm with your significant other, for me it's pretty easy because I know what 'buttons to push, down there' without having to indulge in other fantasy when I'm with my fiancee. Maybe you can also teach your bf a thing or two about what works for you so that he can help you achieve orgasm.

Honestly, when I masturbate, I have my own 'fantasy' thing to explore too and it doesn't always involve my fiancee. Remember that guys also masturbate and they don't necessarily masturbate to the thought of their spouses. That's why it's called 'fantasy.'

Here's one idea: Maybe when you connect your partner with orgasm, you subconsciously feel guilty about enjoying sex? I say this because you mentioned that you grew up thinking sex was sinful and so didn't fantasize about it, but other things. No, you have not 'broken yourself' at all. Lol. I think it might help you to expand your fantasies to include some sexual act, along with the other things you regularly fantasize about. Could you ask your guy to talk dirty to before or during sex about what arouses you? For example, 'you are a naughty girl and deserve to be spanked'... etc. If you don't feel comfortable actually acting out your fantasies, talking about them could be a nice alternative. You can establish ground rules and tell him what you actually want to do beforehand so that you will feel comfortable with everything that happens. On a side note, I think it is normal to fantasize about outlandish stuff when you masturbate or during sex, stuff that you may not ever do or ever even want to do. Many people get aroused by things not directly involving sex and orgasm from fantasizing about these things. Keep in mind that the process is about you and your partners mutual pleasure and it really doesn't matter what you are thinking about during the act. As for orgasming during sex, you'll need plenty of foreplay with a focus on him stimulating your clit, either through oral sex or touching you. I would suggest rubbing your clit throughout intercourse, you also might even try a vibrating egg and put it on your clit during sex. Women on top and doggy style are good ways to stimulate your g-spot during sex as well. For both you and your partner, it is a good idea to move your hips in circles during sex instead of up and down. If he does this to you, it will create a completely different sensation, especially during doggy style. Throughout this, I think it is perfectly ok and normal to fantasize about whatever you want to. There is no reason to feel guilty about it. I think the freer that you allow yourself to feel, the more fun you will have. So fantasize, play games, talk dirty, masturbate in front of him, whatever gets you off!
Have fun and always use condoms!

jeez, I wish this wasn't anon. because we should be friends. I was also raised fervently religious and I had a hard time not feeling guilty about not being married. Even if I were married, I don't think the shame that was put on me about sex would even go away.

ok first of all you have to stop masturbating just to keep yourself in anticipation for wen you do have sex wit him ull get the whole experience, dnt give up yet just try new thing with him if need be, dnt ever give up hope if n-e-thing have him masturbate u and u show him where to put his hands and show him wat turns you on...ull never fix it unless u r willing to try .

Spotlessdream-I feel the same way! I know a lot of women in the church I was raised in feel guilty about having sex even after they're married. It makes me sad that they take all the enjoyment out of it. I'm still trying to decide whether or not I'm going to wait until marriage. I don't really want to or see a reason too, but it's been so ingrained in me that I don't know if I can.

Spotlessdream-I feel the same way! I know a lot of women in the church I was raised in feel guilty about having sex even after they're married. It makes me sad that they take all the enjoyment out of it. I'm still trying to decide whether or not I'm going to wait until marriage. I don't really want to or see a reason too, but it's been so ingrained in me that I don't know if I can.

You have some good advice above you. I would like to add here that you should read about it more. They have entire sections about sex in book stores. One thing no one mentioned is it's common for women to close their eyes and fantasize about other men and situations in order to orgasm. Men usually focus on the moment at hand, but women have their minds further away. You don't need to be thinking about your boyfriend. Maybe try that too. Don't worry about what they told you in church. Sex is a good thing and women rule the world.

Now you said...

" I found other topics that would arouse me, but weren't exactly sex: mostly spanking and being punished. I would fantasize while masturbating and eventually orgasm."

Then maybe the role playing is what you need to do with him, if you are not already doing this. You seem to get aroused when you're dominated.

Try less masturbating with yourself and then not at all for a long time. Then maybe when you two are together and he's dominating you, your orgasm will kick in.

Explain this too your boyfriend if you have not already. I don't know if you've been doing the faking orgasm thing with him or not. And remember to relax during all of this. The last thing you need to do is stay tense, worrying about it every moment with and without you boyfriend around. Good luck!