Ehhh, I'd just leave it alone, it's kinda of pathetic I know, but I guess find a way to replace yourself with his myspace/facebook time. It would irk me more if he were still talking to her and all that fun stuff (like "talking talking").

Okay didnt we JUST have this question? You are two adults, you found that he was checking up on her in a legitimate situation so approach him and ask him about it. You're only 4 months in so if you're that worried about it, deal with it until it creates insecurity in your relationship.

As I mentioned in an almost identical post last week, I am in a solid relationship and we recently got engaged but I use facebook to check up on my exs too when I'm bored. They were a huge part of my life at one point and I am curious as to what they're doing now. He may be using this as a crutch to get used to her being out of his life. You didnt mention how long he's been apart from his ex but either way, I would ask him about it or leave it alone. Either way, stop snooping.

I think periodically checking up and daily checking are two very different things. I would be weirded out about this too.

I would just approach him about this. Better to find out now than later.

i really think im going to approach him. what i also forgot to mention is that i dont even know HOW their relationship ended! everytime i bring it up he changes the conversation, and its starting to make me feel that hes only with me cause (i figure) she dumped him and now hes still stalking her page cuz he is still in love with her. ughh. what a horrible situation.

dump him

I think there is a big difference in checking up on exes because you are "bored" and being in a new relationship with a guy who daily checks his ex's social networking sites.

I think you should be worried that he is still not over her....why is he spending so much time and energy looking into her life?

I think you are right to see this as a red flag and I would ask him about it before you get in too deep.

Personally, I think if you are really into someone new, the last thing you want to do is bring up memories of your ex, but that's just me. I just don't get why people check that stuff. They need to just move on....it's OVER.

the problem is that im guilty of snooping, although the first time was really innocent, me snooping through his daily history is not acceptable. i just want to talk to him about it and work through it before it gets too far, but also want him to trust me. the first thing he is going to do is get mad that i was snooping, and i am unsure of how to have him focus on what HE was doing wrong, not what I was doing wrong.

Well, let's think this through for a minute. You know that he's checking out her profile every single day. What could he possibly say to explain himself? I mean, what could he say that would make you feel okay about this? If I were in your shoes I'm not sure there would be any good excuse for it.

Actions speak louder than words and his actions seem pretty clear.

You are right that this situation sucks and I'm sorry you're in it. If I were you I'd just back off in the relationship a little and protect yourself. If you continue like this you're probably in for a big heartbreak. It's possible that you're just his rebound. I know that sucks to hear but better deal with that now than a year down the road...

It's easy -say "Yes, I saw your computer's history. But that's not the issue right now, and we can talk about that part later. What I need to know is why you're constantly checking Jen's Myspace and Facebook pages." Then sit quietly till he spills. If he talks about you snooping, blah, blah, just sit quietly and look at him till he answers the question that matters.

Keep in mind that the only thing likely to change is that he'll delete his computer history on a daily basis (while still checking her pages all the time.)

you know whats funny, is that i checked his history last night and today and i know he cleared it both times cause i saw him messing around on the computer for over an hour last night..ironic enough!ughh.

totally luisa, he'll start hiding things better after you approach him about it. If he wont tell you why they broke up and if he's not ready to talk about his past relationship at all then there is totally something fishy going on. Talk to him if you want but honestly, I think he's just not ready to be in another relationship yet.

Ew, he sounds like he's being really sneaky now... I'd get out of there before you get more attached.

It seems like there is deception and sneaking around on both sides...not a good outlook for a young relationship.

I personally think you should get out now, because your gut is telling you what you already know....he is not over her. You will drive yourself crazy wondering if he is checking up on her, thinking about her, etc.

Your guy is clearly still hurting, and we all know how it feels to try to get over heartbreak. It's awful, yes, but it does not give him the right to bring you down with him just because he doesn't want to be alone.

Take care of yourself.

Trust your instincts. If he is doing this everyday, he is clearly not over her. Time to talk to him about it. Being deceptive and dishonest is a huge red flag in my opinion. Good luck to you.

Pop: "Well, let's think this through for a minute. You know that he's checking out her profile every single day. What could he possibly say to explain himself? I mean, what could he say that would make you feel okay about this? If I were in your shoes I'm not sure there would be any good excuse for it.
Actions speak louder than words and his actions seem pretty clear. "

I agree with Pop. Why even talk to him about it? Like Pop said, is there any excuse that would make what he is doing ok? And then he will just start being sneaky even more than he already is. The fact that he checks those pages daily, tries to hide it from you, and won't even talk to you about his break-up all = HUGE RED FLAG. I'm sorry, but he is not over his ex, and you sound like a rebound. I would get out before it get worse.