This past summer I met a really great guy and we started dating. We clicked immediately and became instantly inseparable. Everything about him is great-- he's smart, funny, responsible, kind, and very affectionate. But (and there's always a but isn't there?) his ex-girlfriend is certifiably insane. They broke up about a month before we met after two months of crazy girl behavior on her part-- but that's another post.
Soon after he and I started dating, she announced that she was pregnant. Two weeks later she'd had an abortion. Two months (and many harassing emails and drunken phone calls and texts) after that she was still pregnant and needed money for an abortion. My BF had a check in the mail the next day but a month later she announced she was keeping the baby.
While claiming to be 3 months along she went boozing around town, doing shots with our mutual friends. She came to my work with a typed up note claiming that he had cheated on me with her. Not true. For months she sent emails, texts, messages to both my boyfriend and myself but no evidence of a pregnancy. She even went so far as to stuff her shirt and take photos of her 'bump' but would flip out if asked to produce a sonogram or medical record. It became obvious the child never existed. Pictures of her drinking and skinny at '6 months' solidified our hunches.
It took awhile but my boyfriend got a restraining order against her but it hasn't stopped. She still finds ways to send us messages online through made up accounts, and calls my boyfriend at 2am from friends phones and I just cant let it all roll off my back.
When we weren't sure if she was lying about the pregnancy I became obsessed with checking her facebook and myspace accounts for any pictures of her with a flat stomach or drink in her hand. Now, though I've found what I was looking for, I can't stop checking up. I look her up every day and find myself thinking about her throughout the day and it really needs to stop. I'm a very low-key girl and avoid drama at all costs, how did I find myself in this high school drama situation? What can I do to kick this crazy girl out of my mind for good?!
I Can't Get Over His Crazy Ex
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Stop checking, it's easy. When you find the urge, focus on something else. The more you focus on that negative, the more negative will come at you, and you'll just create more negativity. Law of attraction. If she's no longer bothering you, ignore her and be happy, if she is, find a way to sue her ass. I'm assuming you're in the U.S.A. that's what we do here.
1Wait, do you have any text/messages/whatever that proved that she claimed that she was pregnant?
If she claimed that she is and still going out doing shots/drinks/etc and she claims that this is your bf's child, don't you think your bf should ...I dunno (never been in this situation before)...call child protective service or report this to some department who can do something about it (and perhaps confirm the suspicion that she's not pregnant)?
Yeah, tell them that she claims to be pregnant of his kid and she's been drinking heavily and doing god-knows-what partying and he's real concerned about the well-being of the unborn child although he has a restraining order against her (for being disruptive in his life). And that when asked to provide any sonograms or medical record whatever so that it can ease your bf's mind that the baby is ok, that she always refuses so for his sake and the baby's and the mother's, your bf needs to make this report.
I know that's a hassle, but this way, it actually protects an unborn child (if there's any), and may probably put everything to rest if she happens to not be pregnant.
Oh since your bf has sent her money for abortion purpose (as long as there's documentation saying that she needs a certain amount of money and your bf keeps proof that he sent her that certain amount of money for that purpose), and if it turned out that she's not pregnant and was lying, your bf can always bring her to a small claims court to reclaim that money because isn't that fraud on her part?
I dunno what to say to ease your mind, except that you need to just completely steel yourself from checking out her facebook every time. Don't turn into her.
2I think once you find out for sure (real confirmation) that she's not pregnant and everything is a ruse from her, maybe you'll be able to relax more.
^ Heh, good idea, if she hasn't admitted it yet, you really should have your boyfriend call ACS on her. But at this point...if she was, she could have probably lost the child already. If she really is...and she's drinking so heavily, that baby could get FAS. I doubt she's pregnant, she's probably playing games at this point. If she were she would have no problem producing evidence.
3Good lord! Psycho chick.
The only person you can control in this situation is YOU. The only thing you can do is stop checking up on her.
She sounds certifiable. Your boyfriend needs to get more serious with her about stopping her insanity.
I would seriously record her crazy voicemails and put them online and send emails to her friends and family. Oh wait, that's not very nice. But maybe she'll stfu if she realizes she's embarrassing the hell out of herself.
4^Sounds like a perfect plan, I'd def go for it.
5Your bf needs to document the exact times and dates of every single time that she phones or contacts him, and report the information to the police, because they are a violation of the restraining order. The same goes for you if she is also harassing you. You need to stop thinking about her, because it will just make you unhappy. Stop talking about her, stop looking at her accounts, ask your guy to stop talking about it with you. Try to just let it go. The more that you obsess, the less happy you will be with your guy. And truly, that is what she wants. Don't play into this anymore. Focus your energy on your relationship and fun that you can have together. I truly believe the saying 'what you focus on expands.' So don't focus on this anymore, focus on the positive things and you will stop playing right into her hand.
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