Whatever you do, don't say yes to engagement just yet. Sit down and have a long nice conversation about all this, basically tell him what you told us. This guy is very controlling and I don't think you want to get yourself into this kind of relationship. If this persists, he's definitely not husband material. Not even on your level. Let him grow up first, and possibly, be someone else's problem (as messed up as that sounds).

You're his replacement mother and you will be forever if you stay. Any woman he ends up with will end up taking care of him just as his mother did. He's a momma's boy!

Either way, he is immature, dependent, irresponsible and he sounds just plain nasty to other people! You obviously deserve so much more. If he's 25 then you must be under 30 as well which gives you PLENTY of time to meet someone who will hold your hand while watching tv and call you weird names that makes your heart do flip flops. He may be nice to you but only because he seems to revere you like a mother/disciplinarian so I dont think you should be marrying him.

Also, if he's pressuring you to move in and wont let you get any breathing room after 3 YEARS (!!) it will not get any better. He's controlling, dramatic and manipulative (if you leave we'll never speak again!) so I suggest calling his BLUFF and taking a well deserved break.

Give him a chance to realize that he needs to give you space and treat you with respect for you to be there for the long haul. He cant just call the shots ALL the time and expect you to follow along.

Good luck

Although I agree with the above posters that he is a controlling, immature, selfish, manipulative bastard, I think the bigger issue is your self esteem.. "Will anyone ever love me again...he isn't ashamed of me... WTF does that mean?

He's an a$$hole, but you are taking it. You are putting up with living in a prison with this monster because of FEAR, not because of love. You are afraid of never finding anyone else and don't want to be alone. How awful this situation has been, apparently it is not as bad as being on your own and making a change.

I understand it is tough to let go of the familiar, but honestly, you are NOT HAPPY and he is not going to change who he is. Anyone that would talk to you the way he has is not worth being around. Do you really want to be with someone who "goes nuts" whenever you try to communicate your concerns about the relationship? No alone nights for 3 years? I would be certifiable by now under those conditions.

You are a willing hostage in this relationship. The only person that can get you out of jail is yourself. You need to walk away from this....please do not bring a child into this situation.

"Will any one ever love me again?"

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

He's obviously put doubt into your mind that no one will love you like he does etc. You ARE being emotionally blackmailed.

And your mom is right, love isn't enough.

There is no way a random person online is going to be able to convince you to leave your relationship, but if there were, I would try my hardest.

I have been where you are, and the other side is like fresh air. Of course, it was only fresh air after a period of grieving the loss of the guy, but it was worth it.

Good luck.

He sounds very controlling and manipulative, kind of scary to be honest. And you are not able to create ANY boundaries in the relationship. If you can't have any independence in the relationship or free time, that is a very, very bad sign. You say that he is a little aggressive to everyone but you, but you are wrong because he is aggressive to you, and you saw this when you told him you wanted a break/break up. I really believe men take much longer to grow up than women. My guy is 3 years younger than me, I am 32 and he is 29. He is just starting to really mature and take responsibility for all of his actions. I have to agree with your mom, I think that 2 people can really love each other, but the timing is wrong or you are just not compatible in some fundamental way. I would suggest this: imagine your life with him in 10 years, being married with 2 kids. Now, would he help you care for the children? Be a good dad to them? Help you around the house? Would he ever be able to 'cut the cord' with his mom? Would he let you have the personal space you need in order to grow and live your own life? I think it is really idealistic to believe 'love conquers all', because relationships take work and compromise, by BOTH partners. I think learning to enforce your boundaries and respecting one anothers personal space is one of the most important things to learn. I think we need to experience a series of relationships before we can know what we really want in a partner and what we will not accept in a partner. BTW, much of what I am saying is stuff I learned in therapy! Yes, you will find love again, and it will be better than this because you will know exactly what you want. Only experience and exploring your personal growth can lead you to this perspective. Good luck to you.

First of all, "how he isn't ashamed of me"???? You're never going to have the balls to end this fast train to dysfunction if you believe you're someone to be ashamed of. I assume this guy has promoted that belief? Ugh. Anyway, you asked us not to recommend therapy (I personally think that'd be most beneficial) so I guess you should get a book on self-affirmation. Or, at the very least, make a list of qualities you think you posess, and add to it every day. No wonder you're lacking self-esteem if you can't even pursue social activities without him butting in! If you managed to keep some close friends despite his controlling nature, I would ask them to help you build your list of attributes. Anyway, my point is that you need to start thinking of yourself as worth more than this ridiculous relationship in order to end it. I understand your fear of losing the little things that come with a long, comfortable relationship but, trust me, they'll come again with a boyfriend who will put your current guy to shame.