I've recently started dating a guy for a month and I find myself in a very complicated relationship already. The guy does nt understand women, and when I say that I mean, he does not understand anything about them! He expects women to think, react and communicate the way men do, and it is causing us to clash so much because he won't try to understand me, but rather just generalise that I'm a typical woman. He's views of women tend to be around negativity, that we are b*tches, conniving and decietful. I have tried to be careful with what I say, as even jokes come out offensive and full os deciet (even though jokes are like that??).
I really like this guy, it is not so easy to let go. How do I deal with a situation like this? When we argue I actually feel guilty for feeling things a woman does, but how do I make him understand that men and women are different and that our brains function differently!! I'm always made to feel like the bad guy because he says I don't understand him if I don't react to a sitation the way he does, but I'mjust feeling the strain, he won't even try to understand me and accept my differences. I don't want this relationship to finish, but I do think he will walk away.
Can anyone help? How do you make a guy understand women!??
Steve Madden
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You can't make him understand, he has to understand for himself. Not really a fan for saying this much but deep down inside you know you have to walk away too. In fact there's probably a part of you that wants to and knows you can find someone who will be able to understand you. Perhaps you come off as that way, and he doesn't know how to effectively differentiate criticism from anything else. I don't know either of you or your attitudes/demeanors, but if you can't work it out, it's time to walk away. If his views really around that negative and he's expressed it and doesn't show any promise for changing those views (as they should just be temporary and in the heat, such as women hating men cuz they think men are dogs, and men hating women cuz they think they're b*tchy and critical). If he's like this usually a majority of the time, it's not healthy for you, he's better off by himself or being with a macho gay guy.
1You cant change a man. simple as that. If he is not willing to hear what you have to say, to realize that you are two different people and wants to be with a woman who is completely logical and unemotional then you are with the wrong person, my friend!
Get him the book "Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus" and try to get him to read it.. if not, leave it before you get any more attached to him. He's not The One.
2Your boyfriend sounds like a major misogynist. Do you really want to date someone like that?
3His views of women are negative, we are conniving and deceitful, and you have to be careful how you joke around him? He won't even try to understand you and accept your differences? Your words.
Uh, why do you like this guy again? What again about this relationship is enjoyable?
He seems like a supreme egotist and incredibly insecure. You cannot have your own opinions, you can never disagree, and if you do, he dismisses you as a mere woman.
Tell him to go f@ck off and date himself.
4As you said, "he won't even try to understand me and accept my differences". He doesn't even try!! Besides sounding like a complete chauvinist, he's not putting any effort in the relationship either. Why should you bother then?
5Not really sure why you like this guy so much and youve only been together for a month! This is still supposed to be the "honeymoon" phase, imagine what he will be like later on down the line. I say get out now- he sounds like a total jerk. I get the feeling in that posting here you were just looking for validation to break up with him, you got it.
6Its only been a month, it isnt even a serious relationship yet so I'd say get out, fast, before it gets to that point.
7This guy has major issues that you can't fix. Move on.
8Agree with all of the above..why are you in love with a guy who hate women?
"What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?" Ghandi
9Why would you want to date someone who has such negative views of women??? Why would you want to continue to be with someone that makes you feel guilty just for being yourself?! There is no way that you will ever make him understand, because he is not making any effort to even try. Don't you think there is something wrong when you are tiptoeing around him yet he has no problem telling you that he thinks women are all deceitful b*tches! GET OUT NOW! Seriously.
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