The owner of a private nursing home approached me and offered me the job making menus and doing light cleaning and cooking in the mornings and I thought it was a great opportunity. I only had to work three days a week for the same pay I had been getting for a 40 hour week. This alone should have tipped me off there was something I was not being told. The only thing they did say was that I should make an extra effort to keep a certain old couple living there happy.

I made it a point to go introduce myself to each resident and asked each one if there was any special needs to desires that any of them had. When I got to this couple's room I sat down with them and made an extensive list of all the things they wanted, needed, and liked. I essentially made my schedule and menus around this specific couples' desires but it became obvious that nothing was going to please the elderly woman of this couple.

This couple realized that the owner was struggling financially and would use a threat of leaving in order to get their way...or should I say her way. The gentleman was sweet but his wife was a snotty pain in the butt. It became obvious that if she was not happy with someone, the menu, or essentially anything...she would make your life miserable.

Nothing made her happy...right down to demanding that her five minute egg in the morning was not really five minutes. I began to seat everyone just in time to hear the timer go off, and then they would watch me immediately remove the egg from the water and put it on her plate. That seemed to just enrage her more. It was not long before I realized that pleasing her was simply not going to happen.

One day she demanded that I immediately come to her room and clean her bird cage while I was making lunch. Fortunately chicken salad does not require a strict schedule so I popped it in the frig to finish later. I cleaned out her bird's cage cheerfully and even aired out her room. That evening as I left I went by each resident's room to check on them and say goodbye. Everyone complimented me on the new menus and said they were looking forward to seeing me the next week...everyone except "the mean lady."

The next day my boss asked me to come in on my day off. When I arrived everyone seemed very nervous. My boss basically was letting me go because "the mean lady" claimed I poisoned her bird. OMG. I could not believe that anyone would believe I would do something like that! I requested that I be allowed to take the bird to the vet for testing but the old lady just shrieked that she would move out if I spent one more day there. The other residents seemed really fed up with her and all went to their rooms.

After cleaning my locker out I went by to say my goodbyes. The other residents gave me hugs and good wishes...we were going to miss each other. I went by the elderly couples' room last. The "mean lady" was in the bathroom and her husband gave me a hug and said he was sorry about his wife and that he knew I had not done anything to her bird. I broke into tears. She came out of the bathroom and saw me standing there and began screaming.

I do not know what came over me but I snapped. I walked over to her and told her quietly to "Shut the hell up" and she did...which kind of surprised me...as much as it surprised me that I had said what I did. We stood there staring at each other. Finally I simply said, "You know, your life is almost over and mine is just beginning. You make everyone around you miserable. You are a hateful mean old lady. Everyone will only remember that about you after you are gone. Me...they will always say that I tried very hard at everything I did. Your evil nature probably killed your own bird. My life has just begun and your days are limited." I turned and left.

I sat in my car and cried. I couldn't believe I had said those things. I couldn't believe I had been so disrespectful...it was against everything I had ever been taught. My grandmother would have been dismayed at what I had said to that old lady. I had been taught to always be respectful regardless of the situation. For years I have felt guilty about saying such a horrible thing to this "mean old lady" even though I know that she was lucky someone hadn't gone beyond simple hateful words. They were only words. I couldn't believe that I would be accused of killing a bird and lost my job on a mere accusation. I was so hurt. I was angry at myself for snapping at the lady.

Even though over twenty years have gone by I still feel guilty that I said some really painful things. I have felt guilty about not going back and apologizing. The bird... I never had anything to do with that but who would listen to me...nobody...which was frustrating. The "mean old lady" died within a year and her husband left the nursing home and remarried. I know I will only remember her as a "mean old lady" and the owner of the nursing home was relieved when she died. He was never able to keep someone on staff for more than a month until after she died.

I guess I have held onto this guilt for so long because she did die just like I said she would. It was a good guess based on the knowledge of her medical history. Some people would assume I had threatened her and that is why I felt guilty...but it was not a threat...it was a statement of fact. I did not raise my voice to her but I did say some mean things. Some people would say she deserved to hear what I said.

Since this happened I have made an effort to not talk to anyone when I am that upset. When a person is upset they say things they can't take back.