My boyfriend of 9 months and I broke up a few days ago and I've been crying on and off since then. I don't know if I thought he was the one, but I definitely loved him more than I have anyone else. He says he wanted to break up because of the long distance (I recently moved 800 miles away for graduate school), but I feel like if he really loved me, he would have wanted to make it work. He had recently been up to visit me and it went perfectly (even he admitted to this), but again he said that the distance has led him to slowly fall out of love with me even though when he sees me all his feelings return. I asked him if this breakup is what he really wants and he says yes, but that he wants to stay friends which I don't think I can do because I am still so in love with him and that if eventually it works out, that would be great. But then he says that he doesn't want to keep me on the backburner even though he's not looking to meet anyone else at the moment. I just don't get it. I keep chalking it up to "he's just not that into me," but that hurts even more.

All I can think about right now is how I don't think he loved me in the same way I loved him and I just feel horrible. I feel inadequate, unattractive, pathetic for crying so much, and sad because I miss him and he just so easily walked away from us.

How can I make this go away faster? My friends have been taking me out and making sure I'm okay... even facilitating (unfortunately) a makeout with a random guy at a bar. I just want to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't remember ever hurting like this about a guy before him. What should I do?