wrote: I am not sure, but it definitely sounds a whole lot better than anything you've had up until now.

What I can tell you is that I've read a lot of short pieces on relationships, spoke to a lot of people and even gave a few friends some advice on the subject - and they all got married, happily.

1. A good friendship makes for a great relationship.
Good sex does NOT make for a great relationship.

Everyone I ever met who was together for a long time (5+ years) and very happy with the relationship said that their significant other was their best friend.

I also met a few people who told me that they met the woman of their dreams, and went out with them, only to be bitterly disappointed.

The problem seems to be that the desire for a person seems to be dependent on why you wanted to be with them in the first place. People mostly get together because they are attracted to each other, and that can change.

But people who are best friends, and always honest with each other, that never changes. You always want the best for each other, so you are always trying to help the other person, and relationships are ALL ABOUT GIVING. SO IS SEX.

So it all sounds good so far.

However, you're really unsure. I have to ask why? And I look at how you began your post:

"We met at university when I was feeling quite depressed and went through a phase of hooking up with a bunch of guys. Boyfriend was just a friend back then, one that I never even considered going out with for pretty childish reasons, I admit, (he's a bit geeky, shy and not exactly my type)."

It sounds like you met him at a low point in your life, when you fully expected that no-one really wanted to go out with you.

It also sounds like you don't think of him as much of a catch, as if no-one is really interested in him apart from you, and that he would find it hard to meet someone new.

So, all-in-all, it sounds like you think you're just settling.

Now, let me be quite clear. If you really were settling, you would not be happy with many aspects of the relationship. This is clearly not the case.

So you are probably still imagining all the players out there are the men of your dreams, and still not truly appreciating just how attractive this guy REALLY is. If you really knew what the guys out there were like, and you knew just who would be willing to go out with your man, you would KNOW if you wanted to be with him or not.

Also, you added:

"The bottom line is: I've never felt this close or this well in tune with anyone. He's my whole world right now: best friend, protector, accomplice, everything"

It doesn't sound like you are describing the romantic things he does. Either he doesn't do anything romantic with you, or you are missing it.

The only reasons you are unsure is:

(a) you think that you can get a boyfriend who is more suited to you than him

(b) you think that he's not that great a boyfriend in the first place.

(c) you don't think he's doing all the romantic stuff everyone wants from a boyfriend.

To resolve these issues:

(a) Stop blaming yourself for the failures of your past relationships. Sit down and write a list of all of your previous boyfriends. Then, for each one, write down the name, pros and cons of each guy.

Now, start analysing each guy you meet: not as a potential boyfriend, but as a potential boyfriend for a friend of yours, not as a potential date, but really try to find out about these guys, as if you were trying to find your friend a guy who could really be the man of her dreams. You will probably find that most of them are looking for sex. Some could be really great guys, but in my experience, most guys have problems. The few who don't get snapped up pretty quick. The rest usually stay single (sometimes by choice, sometimes not) or have bad relationship after bad relationship until they sort themselves out. Then they really do get snapped up very quickly. Write down each guys name, pros and cons on another list.

Once you have done this several times, you will probably get the feel of what is on offer.

After done all this, AND ONLY AFTER, write down your boyfriend's name and the pros and cons of what you are getting out of the relationship.

Then take a minute, have a coffee, and read through the pros and cons of each guy. Go through every guy, including your boyfriend. Do not write anything down.

Then take a pen (a different colour if possible), and give marks out of 100 for each guy. 0 = Complete waste of time. 100 = Perfect. Mark your boyfriend last.

Then list out each guy's name, marking out the guy with the most marks at the top, and the guy with the least marks at the bottom.

Then look where your boyfriend ranks.

This will probably take you a few days. It may seem like a lot of time, but you don't have to spend all day doing this. It may also seem off-the-wall, but it will give you a chance to really evaluate where your boyfriend really ranks as opposed to other guys. I'm willing to bet that if you start doing the pros and cons with your boyfriend and then do the rest, he'll rank pretty low. That's because that is how you think of him.

If you start with the other guys, and really see them as potential mates, you'll get stuff like: he's very good-looking, but he's so full of himself, he's always fishing for compliments and he never compliments me, or: he's really fun, but he only comes around when he's looking for sex, or: he's great, but he's not looking for Ms Right, just Ms Right Now.

(b) Start by asking your girlfriends what they are missing in their boyfriends. Also ask older women what they are missing from their significant others. Then follow up with some of the good qualities you can see in your boyfriend and see how they react, such as "what if he listened to what you say?".

Also, next time you're out, and your boyfriend is RELAXED (very important!), such as he's laughing with his friends, or he's just chilling out, check out the women around you. Are they checking him out? Are any women giving you an evil stare that says 'I have you because you're with him, and I would like the chance to date him'? Are any women flirting with him when they talk to him, even if he's just buying popcorn at the cinema, or ordering food from a waitress?

It will give you an idea of his TRUE sexual appeal. Many women are going out with a guy who is a real hottie, and have no clue, merely because they are not really paying attention to who is checking him out.

I find that when I go out, the women I am talking to are more interested in who is checking them out than who is checking me out. As a result, I have to point out to them that I am attractive to other women, or they won't really twig, and assume that just because I'm a bit geeky and shy (like your fella!), that no-one would date me. The truth could not be farther than the truth. It's just that I'm not looking for my next one-night stand, but someone to be with for the rest of my life.

(c) Ask yourself: does he compliment you at all? Do you like his compliments? Does he take you out for romantic dinners? Does he buy you flowers out of the blue?

If he's anything as understanding as you seem to imply that he is, he MUST want to be romantic with you. If he isn't, its probably because he is shy, which usually means that he assumes that you would find it cheap and cheesy coming from him. That's usually because most women reject him before they even give him a chance. In our culture, most women have rejected jerks, so most of the guys they have dated ARE JERKS. So most women assume that:
(a) most guys are jerks,
(b) all guys who are worth dating are jerks.

Most guys I know treat their friends, their family and their work-mates in the same way as their girlfriends.

The guys who are jerks to their girlfriends are usually not hard-workers, will usually blow off seeing a friend to date a hot girl, and will very often treat their family badly as well.

The only reason that women believe that all guys who are worth dating are jerks is really, really easy to understand: no-one wants to date a jerk for very long. Everyone wants to stay with a decent guy.

Bear in mind: I do not mean anyone that is truly boring or really badly dressed. Anyone who is a decent guy will at least try to wear clean, respectable clothing - even if it isn't the latest fashion, and will try to be interesting, just so his date has a good time.

I just mean someone who isn't completely suave, and almost never gets the chance to show someone what he is really about, but is really quite interesting, and could really turn your world upside down, but hardly ever shows it.

If a woman starts dating a guy like that, and she can get him to open up, and show his good side, she never wants to let him go.

That is why most decent guys never seem to have dated, ever. If they do get a date and the woman is interested past the first 5 minutes, they aren't usually single again for a very LONG TIME! Once they have had a long-term girlfriend, they are now extremely comfortable with women, and so they don't stay single for very long, usually for the rest of their life.

The result of all this is: most jerks are single, and most nice guys are either terminally single or happily married. So most women are mostly dating jerks. The dates that are not with a jerk don't last beyond 5 minutes before the woman is bored. So most women assume that most guys are jerks and that anyone isn't a jerk cannot keep them interested for more than 5 minutes.

So most women don't give decent shy guys a chance. They just won't even try to engage such a person in conversation. The only ones who do are usually so fed up with the jerks that they figure they might as well give the nice, shy guy a real chance. They make an effort to talk to him. As a result, he starts to open up. Suddenly, this shy guy becomes incredibly interesting. After all, he had to do something with his time if he's not been dating, right? So now he's got a lot to say, on stuff the woman finds really interesting. It doesn't take long before the woman feels like she's just won the lottery. That's incredibly scary. You feel like no woman wants you and just when you meet one who seems a little bit interested, she's trying to push you into a relationship, right away.

It's all very off-putting. It makes a shy guy not want to express himself romantically. Most girls will treat you like dirt. The ones who don't will pretty much ask you out before you've done anything romantic whatsoever. You don't even have to try to be romantic with them at all. They're just glad they found you.

The solution is: be encouraging.

Tell him you like it when he tells you your hair looks nice that way.
Tell him you like him complimenting your figure - which is probably amazing by the way, judging by the number of jerks who are interested in you. Jerks usually only go for very good looking women. After all, if you have to try for someone, and you only really want sex, why not go for the most attractive women you know first? Little tip: if a jerk, gets turned down by all the good-looking women in a room, he'll go for the most attractive woman he hasn't been rejected by yet. From what I've heard from guys, all the jerks have slept with a woman that they found very unattractive at one time or another, because everyone else turned them down. Very off-putting isn't it? Yet amazingly it's true!
Tell him you like it when he takes you for a romantic dinner, or a romantic weekend, or buys you flowers unexpectedly.

Above all, tell him that you DON'T want him to do this because your previous x boyfriends did this, whether they did or not.

Tell him that you WANT him to do this because this is what you like.

When he makes the effort, SHOW HIM. If he buys you flowers, don't just give him a peck on the cheek, even in public. Give him a real snog (french kiss). Let him know this is what you want, and what he'll get if he's does this for you.

Make him feel like he will get a lot for doing romantic things for you, and you'll have a different rose every day of the year. And I mean a different type of rose, not just a red one again and again.

Show him that you appreciate him, and tell him why you do these things for him: not because you are trying to snare him, but because this is what you want, and you to reciprocate.

Once it sinks in with him, he'll be the most romantic guy you'll ever meet.

Finally:

The main difference between a shy guy and a jerk is this: jerks are more flexible and shy guys are more adaptable. Jerks find it much easier to change for the moment, but quickly revert back to type. Shy guys find it harder to change, but once they do, they stay that way. They're just more work, that's all. But oh, are they so worth the work. As you well know.

I'm willing to bet that if you try even a little bit of my advice on each of my 3 points, you will be completely sure that he is either:
(a) the one and only, or:
(b) a great friend who there was never any chemistry to begin with.

Most women find the answer is: (a) the one and only, even with all his faults.

Bear in mind, as a decent guy, I fully expect you to NOT take my advice as the gospel truth. Think about it. Try it out. DO NOT expect things to go exactly as I have written. Life is a lot bigger than me. This is just some of my experience. Buy try it anyway, you may be pleasantly surprised.

After all, I've found that I won't even get to a date with a lot of women. Either I'm too shy to approach them, or too shy to ask for their number, or they won't give me a chance.

If I've talked to a woman openly and relaxedly, she's keen and I mean really keen. If I've been on a date with a woman for more than 5 minutes, and she hasn't told me to go out with her sister, or that she'd kill herself if she went out with me, or some such excuse, she's telling me that she'd like to get married soon. That's by the 3rd date. This is usually before I've kissed the woman.

Recently I've asked out 4 women. 3 said "no", and didn't even give me a reason. The other said she had a boyfriend and I found out later that she didn't. However, during the same time, I've had 4 women proposition me. No-one else I know of seems to have this stuff happen to me, except the other shy guys I know.

So I would say: stick with it for now, and take my advice.
If you find that there are a lot of decent guys who you would get on better with than him, fine. But doesn't sound like it.
If you find that no-one else is interested in him, I understand your trepidation. But don't be surprised if when he's relaxed, all the girls think he's a real hottie.
If you can get him to really open up and show his romantic side to you, and it's really not up to scratch, then fair enough, he's not that good at romance. But don't be surprised if you find a real Don Juan beneath that shy, geeky exterior. Interestingly enough: a lot of mathematicians are jazz musicians in their spare time.