I'm 17 and I just recently broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago. We were going out for 3 years. We broke up because he smoked pot, and wouldnt promise he wouldnt do it again. But then a week later he did, but now we still arnt going out. I didnt talk to him for 2 weeks, and now he came back and is being all lovey and kissing my ass, but still isnt putting fortht the effort I don't think. he says he wants to be with me, but he hasn't asked me back out yet, and proms coming up and he hasnt asked me to it. I have done some sexual things with him while we have been broken up, sometimes I feel used but I don't think that he would do that. He has been hanging out with his friends alot lately, and I kinda feel left out. But he also has been stopping over, and tellings his friends that he wants to come to my house and he has. He has also been acting all lovey dovey in front of his friends, I'm just so confused. Because I didnt talk to him for 2 weeks and told him I didn't want anything to do with him, and I'm just afraid of getting in deep again and getting hurt even worse. Then I found out he smoked pot thursday, and i told him he f*cked up again and i didnt want to talk to him, and he was like "I'm so sorry I promise I won't ever do it again, I didnt know we were going to start talking again blah blah blah" I'm just so confused.
He still talks about us getting married, and everything. What is he thinking, does he want to be with me? Am I being used? How should I react? It's hard to tell him no when he asks to hang out.
Please help, relationship problems.
3 Comments Post a Comment
Top Brands
Radley
first, i have to say that i'm really proud of you that you have the courage to say you have your limits (i.e. no pot smoking) and stick to them when its violated. that's a really hard thing to do, especially when you've been with someone for 3 years. that shows a really high level of maturity.
you have your beliefs and you don't want to be with someone that does drugs, so it seems that you know you did the right thing, but it really hurts, right? that's only natural and i know that it will continue to hurt for awhile, but stick with your gut and stay broken up. i know people will tell you this all the time, but you're only 17 and there is SO MUCH MORE to life than one guy. let yourself cry a little more and hang out with your friends a LOT MORE.
as for prom, instead of going with your ex, why not take a friend (who you know just likes you only as a friend!) or go with a group of girlfriends? trust me, prom is SO MUCH MORE FUN without so much guy drama following you around. i know this firsthand since i had my own guy drama with prom in high school.
dress up, look fabulous and have a great time at prom! before you know it, college and/or the real world will come knocking at your door and you'll get on with your life and find a guy worthy of you. good luck!
1So let me get this straight. You break up with the guy because he smokes pot, tell him you want nothing to do with him, and then you do sexual things with him? Then you cut him off from the bedroom, and now he's trying to be lovey dovey with you? I think you know what's happening - it's pretty obvious.
And if he smokes pot while you are broken up, why are you mad at him? What gives you any right to control him now that you aren't together? You posed your ultimatum to him: pot, or YOU, and guess what he chose? POT! So you don't have any business getting pissed at him for smoking since he made it pretty clear what his decision was.
As for him telling you he's going to stop, and then doing it again, that's not a great sign either. He's lying to you so you'll keep hooking up with him. If you want to call that "using you", then yeah, it's definitely what he's doing.
It's good to learn this early that you can't force someone to change their behavior for you. They're going to keep up with the behavior and just lie to you about it.
Ditch this guy, or you can alternatively decide that smoking pot isn't the end of the world and decide to look past it.
2sweetie, you're only 17! there are a ton of hotter more eligible men who DO NOT SMOKE POT or act lovey dovey with you just for the sex. drop the dead weight, this guy isn't worth the trouble. seriously. but it's really you took the first step to seperating yourself from this guy. and yes, i do agree with everyone else that you're being used.
3Post A Comment
To post comments, please log in or register.