I do think you have a valid reason to question their friendship. He is in a relationship with you and if he can't confide in you, then he or you should question whether it's worth staying in. I think it's wonderful that you have given him the trust and space to be friends with the opposite sex but it seems as if he is crossing the line and taking your relationship for granted. If you have tried to express how you feel yet he does not seem open to listening to your feelings, then maybe it's time remove yourself from the picture. I hope things work out for you.

yeah something definitely isnt right here. he's spending more time with her than you, he doesn't want you at his place when it's a mess even though she'll be there. i think you are being wayyyy too trusting here. this doesn't sound right at all. if he needs someone to talk to he can talk to you and occasionally call her but to be hanging out with her all the time a lone is very shady to me.

Ok, WOW! If this is the same post that was posted on the main page of dearsugar that I just commented on, it was changed A LOT! And this one explains everything SO much better.

He is ABSOLUTELY without a doubt emotionally cheating on you, and it kind of sounds like he could be physically cheating too.
-He sees her more than he sees you on occasions
-He talks to her more than you (confiding)
-He does activities with her that y'all originally planned on doing (which I assume would at least partially be some only gf/bf appropriate activites!!)
-And it really sounds like he is having sex with her, b/c if he doesn't want you to see his room after she has been there!!! What exactly is he hiding???! I would insist on going into his room one day when he acts like that and see what I find!!! Oh and he doesn't have sex with you as much anymore, which could be because he is getting it somewhere else.

I'm sorry, but you aren't even in a relationship anymore! He is in a relationship with this "friend" of his. He does more relationship type things with this new girl including talking to her and possibly having sex...all you have left is the title of "girlfriend".

I wouldn't even bother talking to him about this, it seems pretty obvious that he is a coward that wanted to move on and instead of being mature and talking to you about it and breaking up with you, he is now pretty much just with another girl. This guy is not worth your breath or time or any more effort at all. If I was really in this situation I would seriously just quit talking to him AT ALL, I would not answer his calls, text, emails, NOTHING! I would throw any of his stuff that you have out on the street without any explanation to him about what is going on. And I would never talk to him again. He doesn't deserve an explanation for any of your actions...anyway, I have a feeling he already knows the reason. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't seem like this could be anything innocent.

P.S. Gut feelings are so so true, you should believe them. Because I think you unconsciously notice things that aren't quite right about something, the relationship in this case, and they add up and eventually give you a bad feeling about something. So even though you aren't conscious of what it is that is giving you the bad feeling (hence the reason you sometimes think it's just you being paranoid) it is something real that you should listen to. Good luck, I hope everything works out ok.

Muirnea nailed it.

muirnea i submitted the question on the main page -- this is not it

Sorry stumbler02, they sounded very similar, I'm glad they aren't the same one though because those changes would just be too much!

This guy's got 2 girlfriends. If you're not happy being one of them, dump him.

That's not right at all and I don't know how you're putting up with it. If my boyfriend tried to pull something like this, I would be SO unbelievably hurt. If you follow Muirnea's (good) advice, how much do you want to bet he lets it happen without any protest? You deserve much better. Good luck.

Thanks k8

Luisa said what I was trying to say in one sentence....lmao!!! I think I talk to much....hahahhaha.

Thanks Pistil! And I agree with her that if you follow the advice I gave, I will bet money he will just let it happen and not even bother you anymore...b/c he has his other girl on the side that's giving him everything he wants.

Fishy! Next time he doesn't want you over at his place push the issue!

Have you met her? If not, I would be concerned. Also, why doesn't he want you to come over? It sounds to me like it could possibly be because he just finished having sex with her. I agree with Muirnea here. Trust your gut!