Boys are jackasses. That sounds very very very similar to a situation I was in with my ex. Its actually pissing me off just thinking of my problem now, ha, because it really sounds exactly like it. Your boyfriend isn't over the girl, I don't care whether he broke it off with her or not. He is disrespecting you by not caring about your feelings regarding the situation. I would especially be worried that when you asked to come over he said it was "their" time(what exactly were they doing that you shouldn't see???). HUGE RED FLAG!!!!!!!!!!! The guy I had this problem with is now my ex. so I guess that explains my advice, ha. I don't know if its just me or what, but I expect the guy I'm in a relationship with to like ME, not some girl that is a complete b!tch to me and is completely jealous of me/you.
Oh and by the way, no boys are NOT that clueless, but they like to act like they are to get away with things.
Unless your boyfriend remembers who his gf is pretty quickly, I would dump him (and I'm not just saying that, b/c, like I said, thats what I did in my situation.)

You are in no way obligated to be her friend. You've been polite- and that's more than your guy or her ex can ask for.

And trust me - he loves the fact that she still likes him. He's relishing the attention and the boost to his ego that he's got two girls swooning for him. Otherwise, your uncomfortable feelings would have had him deciding to stop hanging out with her long ago. This guy is a jerk, he's putting himself and his ex before your feelings.

If you insist that they are friends, then let me assure you that it won't stop here. In the future when other girls express affection for your guy, he most likely will not hesitate to enjoy that either.

He might not be a cheater(benefit of the doubt), but he sure is immune to your feelings. Two years is a good chunk of time- I can't easily suggest that you break up with him. But unless he makes some big changes, you're in for a tough one.

Protect your heart until you find someone who can do it better than you.

You boyfriend should be happy to cut ties with her for the sake of your relationship. The fact that he won't sends up major red flags.

Luisa, arent you a huge advocate of staying friends with exs? Theyre 2 years into their relationship already, should she just set some ground rules for the future while still including the ex or something along those lines?

I dont really have a solid opinion on this subject as Ive never had this problem. Good luck!

"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"

Not a good thing, sweetie. 2 years and..you're playing second fiddle? Wow. I know how hard it is to walk away from an insecure relationship especially after you've felt you've invested so much in such a long time, but really, I'd rather not spend 2 years and 1 day being unhappy and uncomfortable (not to mention feeling second best) with my s/o.

Your bf sure doesn't seem to appreciate you or consider your feeling very much. You're not being paranoid/jealous, I think your feeling is normal. I'd not feel too good about myself if I were in your position...for 2 years! You can't tell him to drop her, but y'know what, he can't tell you to stick around as well when you're being treated like second class citizen in this 'triangle loveville.'
I think it's about time to call it quits, maybe just by then, he realizes how much he lost when he lost you.

*Unconditional love is a beautiful thing, just be sure to give it AFTER your conditions have been met.*

If I was in your situation, I wouldn't stay with him. I could not handle my bf being best friends with his most recent ex. Even a person with good self-esteem who rarely gets jealous would not be comfortable with this situation. I cannot believe that he said it was "their time", that is horrible. If he was truly commited to you, then he would reduce the time he spends with her. The fact that she refused to meet you at first tells me that she is not over him at all. He is not clueless, he knows that what he is doing is hurtful and wrong. But you are still putting up with it, so he is not going to change his behaviour. I don't say this very often here, but I honestly think that you should break up with him. It is not ok that you are not his first priority after dating for two years.

I wholeheartdly agree with most of the people here. After two years, its time for him to break apart from her. Staying friends is one thing but this is ridiculous.

He loves the attention he is getting and it will not change. I never like to tell people to leave a relationship, unless it abusive but you need to go. Dump him! I am almost positive if you do, he and the ex will get back together.

Not saying he is cheating now, but the fact that they have "their time", is wierd and inappropriate

2YEARS!!!! an this iz what u are dealin with move on!

'thr time' hmmm....i would hav pakd up a long time ago...dats str8 disrespectful evn by jamaican standards
xoxo

i'm not trying to be mean but that's the truth, if a guy said that "his ex-girlfriend still in love with him" or " their times to spend time together". i think he has something down-low with his ex-girlfriend and maybe he's still have feelings for her...

Wow. I would never let a guy blow me off for his ex girlfriend. I think you are being too nice by far!