I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months about a month ago. I thought I was doing okay until yesterday night when I just broke down into tears and cried the whole night.
He cheated on me but yet, I find that I cannot let go. In my mind, I know it is the best to let go and move on yet in my heart, I can't let go or move on. It is really hard because I love him so much.
Recently my mum been in the hospital and my dad is in China where they just had an earthquake. And with all this happening, I always find myself wanting to call or text him every time I'm down. I feel very pathetic for still depending him.
I really want to get over him and move on but I'm finding it really hard. I don't want to bother my friends anymore, cause I'm sure me talking about him will take a toll on them sooner or later. I tried dating other guys but all I do is think about him. When I'm out with my friends, I think about him too. I'm stuck. I need help. I can't cut off all contacts with him because we're all mutual friends and I see him from time to time and I'm good friends with his best friend.
Radley
Break ups are hard, regardless of the time spent together but you have to be strong. Very strong.
First of all, stop hanging around him. If he's going to be there, make other plans. You're just torturing yourself and prolonging the pain by seeing him with your friends having a good time. Sorry but for at least the next two months, stay the hell away from him. CLEAN BREAK, ladies! Always make it a clean break unless it was TOTALLY mutual!
Second, choose a break-up song. I've given this advice before but thats because it really works. Choose one song that reflects all of the crappy things that the guy did. My song was "Silly B!tch in Love" by Olivia. It perfectly described the issues in my relationship and backed up my feelings of him being a complete loser. Everytime I felt like calling him, I would listen to the song and remember how much he hurt me and pissed me off. Maybe for you it's "To the Left" by Beyonce or "Take a Bow" by Rhianna. It should not be a love song but an anti-love song. It shouldnt make you cry it should make you feel angry and stong and independent.
Third, write a Pro's and Con's list about him. Everything that was good about him and EVERYTHING that was bad about him, from cheating on you with a girl that was uglier then you to having a receding hairline or not brushing his teeth every day. Then RIP UP THE PROs LIST! Keep the Cons list in your purse and anytime you think "Oh maybe he wasnt that bad..." read the Cons list over and over and remind yourself why you're no longer together.
If you go crawling back to this idiot you will just be hurt again. Dont you dare do it.
Finally, go on a date. It doesnt matter who it is or whether you like him but you need to go and get hit on, like, NOW. It makes you feel much better when another man shows interest, even if you're not interested in him. Go clubbing with your girls, go to the mall and flirt with boys, go bowling for heaven's sake but make sure your ex is no where near you.
Good luck and dont worry... you will be fine. I promise.
"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"
1There's nothing wrong with calling your friends to talk about your stresses - mom being sick, dad being in China, etc. They don't want to hear about your ex - but you don't have to talk about him either.
I highly recommend you go buy a journal. Any time something makes you sad or mad, write it down. You can even write him letters that you never actually send. This works really well for me when I'm going through a hard time.
2well you're not alone! i opened this post cause i just broke up with my boyfriend (thanks to some really good advice from everyone on this site through an anonymous post... thanks guys!). i guess the old saying "misery loves company" is true. it made me feel better to know someone else is going through the same exact thing as me right now. one thing i've found that helps me, is every time i get an urge to call or text my ex, i call one of my girlfriends, or my family instead. also, i had to take down ALL his pictures... the ones in my living room, my desk at work, etc. i also had to get rid of things that reminded me of him, cause in the beginning seeing these things would trigger a flood of tears. i also agree with luisa that writing things down helps A LOT. when you start writing, chances are you'll start writing about the reasons you broke up in the first place... and there's nothing like positive reinforcement. i'm a musician, so i write my own breakup songs... it helps so much to vent! so, along those lines, i definitely think you should take fallen's advice and find a song that sums up all the sh*t he put you through and listen to it a lot... it'll make you feel empowered. also, whatever you do, keep yourself BUSY. whether it be hanging out with friends, going shopping, working, cleaning your house... do SOMETHING. the more you're doing, the less time you have to think about him. it's when you're sitting all alone that you're gonna have that pit in your stomach and your brain is going to drift back to the good times you had with him... so don't even put yourself in that position. and know that there's NOTHING wrong with venting to your friends about your ex. that's what they're there for. you would be there for them during a break up.. and if they're your real friends they won't mind listening to you and helping you out. good luck! and know that it's only going to get easier. my break up was last week and i'm finally starting to feel normal again. you'll only come out stronger
3Congratulations dee7up! You go girl!
"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"
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