I've been with my bf, "Glenn" for 2 yrs. Two yrs before us, my close male friend, "Adam" and I would spend 800+ minutes per month talking on the phone. We talked several times a day. We have never had sex. At one point, I told him I was confused about my feelings for him. We explored my feelings and decided the friendship was more important. We continued to talk all the time. I became involved with my bf approx. 6 mos later. Adam and I didn't talk as much, after that.

He now admits that he had and still has more than friend feelings for me, but was scared to reveal them. He said, when I got involved with Glenn, he really hid his feelings then. He said he's telling me now, because he has always loved me, his best friend, and finally figured it out. He also said, I was the one that got away. I know Adam better then Glenn. We know everything about each other, morals, values, past baggage, vulnerabilities, sexual likes and dislikes, and etc. At different times, we had significant others. He said he didn't think Glenn and I would get serious. We have a great friendship and still lean on each other for emotional support. Glenn knows we talk, he knows our entire relationship history and when I ask Adam's advice on some male issues, I tell Glenn what we talk about. He says he's okay with it and our friendship doesn't bother him in the least.

Currently, Glenn and I are having major problems. Now, I realize Glenn and I should have gotten couples counseling before moving in together. He has a lot of intimacy issues, that I took a blind eye too. I was in love and in the honeymoon stage. Well that honeymoon is over! We've moved on into the emotional bonding phase, but he's not putting much effort into bonding. We've been going to counseling and I don't see much effort on his part. He's what I call intimacy challenged. He lives in denial and has some selfish ways about him. He has made some progress, but being vulnerable is a major issue with him. He withdraws instead of sharing his emotions. It frustrates the heck out of me. This has been going on since last year.

I don't want to quit on Glenn, but resentment is starting to creep in. I have told Glenn how I feel about our relationship. He makes an initial effort to change, then it's back to status quo. I feel I'm doing all the work here. Adam does not know we are having these problems. As a promise to Glenn, I don't discuss our intimacy issues with Adam.

I'm so confused. The entire time I've been with Glenn, Adam has never said anything negative about him. He has always been positive about my bf and I.

Hopefully you can give me some other things to think about. I have talked about this in my private therapy sessions, but I'm still so F&*king confused.

Help!!