I broke up with my ex boyfriend about 9 months ago. Shortly aftwerwards, I did something uncharacteristic of me and began dating someone else.
At the time, I believed the new man was cut out for what I wanted in life: marriage and kids, but now I don't think he is suited for it, at least not at this point in his life, even though he has always said he wants to marry me and have children together.

My ex and I have remained friends all this time and have been keeping in touch with one another. 2 weeks ago, 2 friends of his who are married to each other somehow talked him into having a threesome with them.
These friends are fairly new, they were introduced to him by another couple he has known for a long time. Apparently, no one else in the circle knows the married couple likes this kind of thing and nobody in the circle knows what has happened, either. I don't know how they are going to keep that under wraps, but that really is not the point now.
The point is that before that even happened, my ex and I were talking about getting back together. Now we seem to be talking about the idea more than before but of course now, there are even more people involved who will get in the way. For one, my current guy has said in the past that he would kill my ex if he and I got back together. I don't think my current guy would handle me breaking up with him, even if my ex wasn't in the picture. A lot of people in my life think my current guy has the potential to go wacko if I were to break up with him.

Now what gets really messed up is the fact that the married couple threesome thing has me really mad because the wife was the one who brought the idea up to my ex and he has always wanted one and technically he was single and had not had sex for almost 9 months, so I can see why he did it. Yet apparently, the wife was with her husband and my ex at the same time for one time, but then after that, the husband was just in the same room, watching and then after that, the husband was nowhere around, not even at home and my ex has become the wife's play thing and apparently this is all well and good with her husband. Now they want my ex to move into their house to live with them! My ex told me that the wife has come over to see him at his house too, without her husband. He says they have sex like any other couple and he feels like he is dating her, even though technically she is married. He is basically around for HER enjoyment and when her husband is around, my ex says they all hang out like friends and do normal things together.

What makes me mad here is the fact that now I've got this married woman trying to compete with me for a man who she has no business being with in the first place!
I'm very open minded, but this just pi*ses me off because what she is doing is extremely selfish and is completely not fair to him! (My ex.)
I mean, why choose a man who is searching for a monogamous marriage with kids? That is so not a good combination!

My ex has told her I know about them, I actually figured it out on my own without him directly telling me and he tells her everytime he and I hang out or talk, too.
Now she has told my ex that she's worried I'll "get in the way of things" and now it's sort of taken the direction of sharing him, which I really don't want to do. When I hang out with my ex, it is just hanging out. I am not doing anything wrong and we are both sexually involved with other people now. Strange as the whole thing is, we are talking about moving forward and past our mistakes so we can get married and have a family together, but right now, we are not ready to just DO that. It would require some time and it would be slow going.
The wife is freaking out, I'm sure but I'm not really worried about her. I know what he wants for himself and she can offer him nothing in that regard. As far as I see it, there is no contest. What I am concerned about, however is what to do next. I don't want to make him choose as he once made me choose and look what I did. I've left him to make up his own mind, but I've informed him that if he chooses that life, I will not stay around as it will just be too bizarre.
He is very confused and rightly so. The wife is worried about me and she should be! My ex told me that he had told he he wants kids one day and she actually had the balls to tell him he could have kids with her, since she wants kids but her husband doesn't.
Anybody else see what is happening here?!
I want to smack this b*tch and tell her to stop picking on vulnerable men.
She is so rude and inconsiderate, I can't even see straight.
She is MARRIED, for crying out loud. If her husband didn't want kids then why did she MARRY him?
Meanwhile, my ex is blinded and not sure what to do next.
The way I see it is if he and I are meant to be, we will be. I don't want to push it but I know the wife does. I sure as hell don't want to vie for his attention or compete with her, as it's not worth my time or energy.
My ex's life and my life could go so many different directions from here, and I've pointed this fact out to him.
What do I do next?

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