My friend was in a 9 year relationship and called it quits about 3 months ago. Towards the end of her relationship she became emotionally involved with a guy who subsequently took her on a skiing trip and was pursuing her. During the trip, however, things got intense (no sex, but nearly) and then cooled after the trip, and he has stopped pursuing in that way since then. There is another guy who really likes her, but he is in the same circle of friends as the first guy. Anyway, she slept with the second guy and is concerned that she messed things up with the first guy. The second guy told her that he won't talk about their situation with others.
She is completely torn up over the first guy and sees him as potential for marriage. I think she needs to step outside of this circle and stop beating herself up over potentially ruining a good thing with the first guy. If he cares, he will pull through.. So far it seems he has been emotionally distant and not giving her one on one time. He had previously told her that he is scared of commitment. What should she do?
Where do things go from here?
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In regards guy no. 1 (and 2), she should do nothing at all. Let him go and open herself up LATER ON to dating other men who are interested in a relationship.
Oh and take time off and be single for awhile. After those years, she needs to experience single life! She should pursue her dreams and not focus too much on boys right now.
1She needs to take a deep breath and step away from the men.
How on Earth she's calling a guy "marriage material" is beyond me. She hardly knows him! This woman needs to be single for a while before she gets into that scene.
2I completely agree with the other girls about being single for a while. There are too many women who are dependent on men. Serial Daters. Go from one relationship to another because they're scared (Read: Not used to) being alone. This woman needs to learn how to survive on her own, without leaning on a man, before she should consider getting into another serious relationship. Her mind is too clouded and will only see the good in the man and not the warning signs because she is so anxious to get into her comfort zone again. (Rebound, much??)
If she completely shoots this idea down because 'he's just so wonderful!' then she HAS to tell the guy that she slept with his buddy. It will come out eventually so she should be the one to break the news instead of the boys getting trashed at his bachelor party and the buddy sayin "Yea, i totally did your wife! She was awesome!!" And ruining your relationship in the worst way.
Good luck!
"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"
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