Okay, so I was with my ex-boyfriend (wow, it still hurts to say 'ex' out loud) for 5 1/2 years. We were planning on moving in together, and even talking about marriage. It felt like we were both starting to get freaked out and not sure what we wanted. I said I think we needed a break from each other, which I think we both knew was going to turn into a break-up. We were on the 'break' for 2 weeks when I decided I loved him and wanted to work things out - he opted for the break-up
We have all the same friends, so have tried to maintain a friendship, but I am finding it very hard. Every time we talk he tells me he still loves me, but just needs more time. I am scared to get back together, and scared to move on??? Why does he tell me he wants to be with me, and that he loves me, but can't commit to getting back together!!?? All advice is welcomed!!!
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It IS really hard. And the fact that you share a circle of friends makes it even more painful because it seems there's no escape. Did you really mean that you just figured out you loved him during the 2-1/2 week break, though? Didn't you already know that in 5-1/2 years? Not giving you a hard time; just clarifying.
1You got that right. I have been through some myself.
2Hopefully, like you said...he just needs some more time. I think it's normal for some people to get freaked out right before they make a long-term (marriage) commitment to each other. You probably hurt him pretty bad when asking him for a break, so now he needs some time to cool off and nurse his pride. Just be honest with him and tell him you love him and are excited about spending your lives together. If he's really the right guy for you then I think you could very well end up together, just be honest and patient with each other at this point. Good luck!
3I'm not sure that I would take my own advice.. but I recently was in the same situation. I wish I would have walked away earlier.. I rode it out for the sake of having no regrets. I didn't want to say.. what if.. but, turns out I knew it would end this way for awhile.. I was just too scared to walk away.
You probably know that if he's not ready now.. chances are, by the time he's ready.. it won't be with you. OR VICE VERSA.. If you are going to remain close friends with him.. at least set rules.. like the topic of your relationship - it shouldn't be brought up. If nothing else, just don't hold yourself back from other opportunities. You might find a greater, bigger, better love and you wouldn't want to give that up
4O wow ok so i just posted a thing about my breakup which almost so close to yours. we were together 4 years, and just at the point of our lives now we did nothing but argue because we are so stressed with school, work, and everything social. We too have the same friends, so it hurts ALOT to see each other out. Im the desperate one who is constantly texting him, i want to get back together but he too is just like we need time apart to grow up right now. i mean it does make sense, but it just sucks.
5so, actually i wish i had advice, but i asked for help in my blog thing, so all i can say is it sucks & just try to work on you right now.
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