On one hand, I don't have any problem with responsible sex before marriage. On the other hand, when I was a younger I was religious and believed that I would wait until marriage to have sex. So I understand how much importance is placed on keeping your virginity.

You have to decide what YOU value. Don't let your family decide for you. As for religion, you said you're not doing it to avoid feeling guilty, which means you don't truly believe it's morally wrong, right?

If you do decide to go ahead and do it, it's no one's business anyway. Just be safe about it.

I agree with Pistil. You should be able to decide for yourself if it's the right time or not, regardless married or unmarried. Another thing is, just be safe. Good luck to you.

hey wait a second before you do this, I've dated my husband almost 2 years before we considered having sex, but I made the mistake and so did he before we started dating, that when you start to have sex with other people it will remind you over and over of the person you did with last, and when you finally make the desicoin you have to think what if I get Pregnant and He only marrys me to make him self look good but then you notice sex itn't about love at all and notice that he has less and less intrest in you the you begain to feel Sad, Angry or Depressed, God inteded sex for Marrige not just for plesure, But to strenghen to bond as a married couple, I got Pregant before I was Married, and it was hard because we did thinking were ready for anything, we were wrong, we just now got or own place, because we were thinking of getting married before having kids, and found that one night we desided to try and boom its all over the Sex last a few min. and I'm pragnant, the thing is that once you taste it the more you want sex, and sometimes the man is the one that ends up leaving for another Girl, or gets her Pregnant,
so Holding out is best because when you wait, your sex life will be pure and great, see now we do it once every two weeks because both of us had done it so many times when I was Pragnant and before we dated each other that it became so much. its become just a need rather then to let each other know how we feel about one another. now we have to find other ways to please each other and not expect it all the time but to expect it at the right moment. and to show are love in other ways also, and here's a Tip Married Life is Hard you well have fights and disareements but your one vessil, and you well need to depend on each other and be strong because when you do this you'll see how blessed you are.
as a couple.

From Rosa

I agree with doing what is right for you and not letting the opinion/influence of your family or religion decide that for you. For me sex without marriage is not a big deal when I was a lot younger, about 12 or 13 I asked a Catholic priest in my CCD class why you had to wait until you were married to have sex. His response made me realize even though I was young I needed to do what was right for me. BTW his repsonse was if you are in love and are engaged that it is fine to start a sexual relationship. Yes he was obviously progressive but at least he was honest and knew that the times were changing and what was right hundreds of years ago may not be right for present day.

I think if you are still questioning whether or not it's the right thing to do, you are not ready. It will hurt nothing to wait until you have no doubt.

I have also been dating my boyfriend for over three years. We are both still virgins, and we have both made the choice that we would wait until marriage to have sex. It's a decision based on our faith and values, and our love for each other. For me, if I love a person enough to share that intimate experience with them, I have to say I wouldn't want the other person or myself to have had that intimacy with someone else. So, if for some reason, our relationship doesn't last... though we have discussed long-term commitment and marriage... I wouldn't want him or myself to be in that situation. But, you have to make the decision that's right for you! And like the above poster said, there's no harm in waiting! Clearly, your boyfriend is very sensitive and understanding when it comes to this matter, because he has waited with you... that's something special to hold on to! And as for your statement about looking back and wishing to have has those years for great sex... that doesn't make complete sense to me. I feel if you wait until marriage, and you're with the right person at whatever age or time in your life, the experience will be just as fulfilling and amazing as when you were younger. Hope this helps!