Me and my boyfriend had an arguement.....Hasn't contacted me at all for 3 days....Hel[ May 16, 2012 2:10 PM Basically, we've been together for a month. I was with him on sunday and he recieved a phone call in which he said he was with "a girl" which offended me because I love telling people about him, I love making it known that I'm with him, I'm an attractive girl and even when he's with me he gets looks and so do I. He's very much a ladies man&has a lot of girls as aquaintances etc. And it seems to me that he's trying to lead two lives. A single life and one in a relationship with me... So I said to him, Am I a girl or your girlfriend? He said my girlfriend why? I said just wondering, thats what you called me.... He then said "what's the difference?" After this I got angry and he said he's got stuff to do. he doesn't want to argue etc and I left it. The next day we had a few words in I was calmer and said why dont you want to answer a simple question, everytime i bring it up, he says "blah blah" in that breath, he put a picture up of another girl on Blackberry messenger. My friend who also has him on BBM asked me why she always see;s all these other girls&never me. I found it disrespectful that he had to cheek to do this in the same breath. I got very offended and deleted him. Then I txt him and said I feel very unappreciated by him, if anything everyone is aware of him. But it seems like he wants to lead a single life. So he has one. He txt back and said I'm acting crazy and he cant be bothered to explain himself again. I said asked him he had ever told me where I stood with him. Yes we like each other very much but I've never heard anything that was reassuring to me since the day he asked me to be his girlfriend. He said he has college goodnight. Thats the last I've heard from him up until now. I want closure. &the way I know him is, he has too much pride. Shall I text him? Nothing big. Just "You wanted a single life, so I'm giving it to you" Everyone's telling me to wait for him to contact but it's making me angry and making me depressed. Please help? Does it matter? May 16, 2012 11:13 AM We have been dating for 2 years now, already talking about marriage. a year ago I changed my facebook relationship status into "in the relationship". he didn't. he is still single in Facebook. I never brought this up as it is sounds childish. 2 months ago I changed mine into "single". I figured why would I when he doesn't care about these stuff. is this so immature that I want everyone in the world know that we are in love? he doesn't care about these stuff and he always maintains a high level of privacy. and by putting it out there I don't mean to be possessive or let the girls know he is taken. I just want to... I don't know, brag about being in love? :(   He hates me May 16, 2012 10:16 AM I live in a traditional country where marriage is a big deal and it is of the most importance that the marriage be approved by both of the families. while it is now somehow ok for young people to date and get to know each other, the relationship MUST end in marriage, otherwise it must remain a secret. My BF and I are both 27. we met at the firm we were both working at over a year ago. he was my Boss's younger brother. we decided to keep the relationship a secret, since neither of us was interested in getting married back then. but my boss eventually found out and he was totally ok by this, as he liked me as a person very much and had a great respect for me. the problem was with my manager, a female who was so close to me (almost my best friend) and I made a huge mistake by telling her everything. she, a 32 year old woman, would have died to be closer to either of these brothers(even the married one) and when found out that I, the new girl, has developed a loving relationship with the handsome younger brother, she completely lost it. although she was apparently very composed, she started ignoring and annoying me, accusing me that I tell my BF everything that happens in our department and he in turn tells his brother. so I decided to ignore her crappy behaviour and do my thing, until the destructive atmosphere was so hard to take that I decided to quit my job. here is when I made a huge mistake: one day when my work was done and every one had already left (I was alone at office) assuming that no one is monitoring my chat conversations, I chatted with one of my male friends and nagged about the manager, the crappy salary and the fear that they might not pay me fully with all my rights when I leave the office. I also nagged that my boss is actually my manager's bitch, since he did nothing to even underestand why I was leaving and I found out that my manager had been talking shit behind my back and he believed her. I also did this stupid thing and told my friend that if they do not pay me fully I know stuff about this company and I can bring hell to this place. my friend said your boss is a bastard. I sent a laughing icon in response. now I need to tell you that really, I am NOT a material person, I was just really angry that no one was asking me why you are leaving and every body treated me like I have done a capital sin by dating my BF. he was not even working in my department and there was NO LAW that kept us from dating. I was angry and stupid as hell and I totally accept my wrong here. so it turned out that may manager was monitoring all my personal chats from home (!!!!!), in her free time, printing them and sending them to my boss. my boss called for my BF (after I left the firm) and showed him the chat prints, demanded why he has treated me in such way that I give myself the right to talk this way about them. he told him this girl is greedy, impolite and a bad news, she have said nothing in our defence when her friend called us bastards. how can you date such girl. of course my BF and I had a big fight. well, he said everything and I just accepted my wrong doings and cried and told him that I was only angry and he shoudnt take any of those words seriously and to show him that I didnt care about money, I said I wouldnt take my rights. (of course they paid me and I took it because later I concluded that I have worked for that money and I should prove them wrong by other means -stupid stuff-) He loves me so much. he kept on dating me and he didnt talk with his brother for 6 months, then they made up but NEVER talked about me ever again. he says my brother never asks me and I never tell him its better this way. I never met his family and he never met mine. I should tell you that when all these happened a year ago, I worte an email for my ex-boss and apologized and took the full responsibility for my actions and said that I never meant to disrespect him. I also said that although these chats happened in the office, they were personal stuff and they should have never been printed and discussed publicly. People told me that I probabely should go and meet him in person since he is my Bf's Brother, but I decided that I wouldnt until time heals everyone, me, him and my BF. now, more than a year later, my BF and I are talking about marriage. and this is the only problem in our way. we don't know how to bring the marriage thing up without being rejected by his family (his brother is older and rich and helping out his family so he has a pretty strong influence on his mom and dad and my BF worships his brother). I have told my BF that I dont want to get desrespected in this course. I dont want to get rejected, I have nothing to fear of and I am a great person to be married to and I dont want your brother to think he has something against me or he can just reject me or disqualify me for being his sister in law. I fully understand that since he does not know many things about me, that chat conversation might have conceived a really bad image of me in his head and he has every right to do that and protect his brother, I just dont know how to approach him and change this idea about myself???   he would be the first one that we discuss the marriage thing with, and my BF says since I am very scared of the whole situation he would probabely have to do everything by his own. but I really want to fix this. I like my ex-boss and respect him. I dont know how to approach him so I could fix things and not get my ego shattered in the process. I did a wrong thing but that doesnt mean that I am a bad person, he just does not know this. how should I start? (since I have not met him for more than a year now) and how should I approach him? can anyone tell me what should I do step by step??? sorry this was long, and I have posted this a year ago when it first happened, back then I wanted to know how to fix things with my BF. now with his brother??? Including my guy in wedding planning over distance May 16, 2012 9:53 AM Heya all. I'm thrilled to be engaged to my guy, and we are getting married in a few months. We presently live an ocean apart. I've got loads of support with planning (thank goodness, as I'm not particularly equipped when it comes to weddings), but my dilemma comes from making sure my guy feels included, without feeling bombarded. Becuase we have the challenge of distance, we talk - a LOT. I don't want to turn our conversations into glaze-eyed wedding rambles, but I am hoping people out there will have suggestions on how I can include him. One thing I've done is postpone meal selections until he arrives two weeks prior, so he and I can try things out together. But I can't leave everything until the last minute. Since he's a guy, my usual question is, "Do you care about...X?" (invitations, cake etc.) and if he says no, then I just go with it. But ultimately, I do want him to feel included, so he's not just turning up; already the guest list is 98% my side! lol. Anyone have any creative suggestions as to how I might make sure he feels involved - as much as a guy wants to be?! :) Dilemma involving my friend and boyfriend! May 15, 2012 1:06 PM I desperately need some advice. Here goes... Me, my friend and new boyfriend work at the same workplace. My friend is pretty close to my boyfriend as they work in the same department. I was fine with this before I found out she had a crush on him at the same time as me. It all started when I told her that I had a crush on this guy. I told him how I felt and we eventually started dating. She then told me that she had a crush on him the same time I did. Even though she had a bf at the time, and she knew that I liked him, she still told him how she felt about him. He didn't respond to her feelings. I had no idea about this until we went on our first date, and my friend told me the next day. I have never had a problem with their friendship until now. They spend a lot of time together at work (he spends his lunchtime with her) and he never makes any effort to see me at work. I am really uncomfortable about them together now that I know how she once felt, and I can't help but feel anxiety. Am I wrong to feel this way? She has become colder towards me since we started dating and I don't think she realises it. I can't go on dating him knowing that they go for coffee together after work and they spend a lot of time together at work. I have doubts about this guy anyway because he ignores me at work (he wants to keep us a secret because he is worried that we will lose credibility) yet he spends all his spare time with my friend. He texts me once a day (yes really!) and does not phone. I don't mind that but it just adds to my doubts about him. Am I being paranoid? Please help me... Is my boyfriend &his female friend talking too much? May 14, 2012 10:17 PM Please do not judge me & actually give me advice. I've been with my guy for 1 year & 1/2 now. He has his fair share of friends, including females: which is totally fine with me. I am NOT a jealous person. However, he has this 1 female friend that hes known for 9 years and in he beginning I realized they talked and texted a lot. I even saw two pictures of her in his phone and asked who was she? He told me she was a girl from church. I let it go, there was no emotions involved plus I trusted him. As the years went on simple things, that would be assumed for a person in a relationship to know, happened, which made my trust for him decrease. Anywho, now his female friend has broken up with her boyfriend of 6 years, so she confided in him about her relationship. When she met a new guy she shared those stories with him as well. I don't mind her seeking advice in him but it got to a point where she was texting him at 1 something in the morning about her problems and that didn't sit well with me, so I told him to let her know about it and for him the same that it was inappropriate on both ends. Not to mention that just recently she had a conversation with him about her thinking she was pregnant and told him the reason because, her period didn't come. I told him that they were too comfortable and that should not be a form of topic because now personal boundaries are being crossed. The thing is, they talk every other day about either about church or her relationship issues and it makes me extremely uncomfortable! Because she is emotionally relying on him ALL the time. It's to a point where I addressed him and told him so, because before I tried to understand but she knows he has a girlfriend and I feel there should be a level of respect. I don't know how to say I don't want her talking to him every other day without SOUNDING jealous. Please help! 4 years and no "I love you" May 14, 2012 8:06 PM I've been with my BF for 4 years.  We see each other often, though we don't live together (we each have our own kids from prior marriages).  We have a lot in common, enjoy each other's company, etc.  We're in our 40's, so I hope that by now, we have a better idea of what makes a relationship last. However ... I find myself getting hung up on the fact that he hasn't said the magic "I love you."  Also, he only recently brought up the idea of meeting his mom a few months ago, but it hasn't happened yet.  And now, I told him I'd like to take a vacation to Hawaii and he basically said, "Have a great time!"  There was no hint of worry that I might meet someone there, and no "Can I go with you?"  We went on 2 vacations last year and had a great time--one of which I had planned on my own, and he said he wanted to go, too (it was an overseas trip with a lot of difficult cycling, so I didn't ask him at first). Other than that, he's loyal, and acts like we're practically a long-married couple.  Still--should his lack of worry about me vacationing alone, his lack of "I love you" declarations, be a sign that it's time I move on? Should I Seek Closure, or Let It Be? May 14, 2012 7:25 PM No need for the whole long, drawn out, story, but essentially this guy passively screwed me over. Ignored me one moment and then not the next, flaked out on plans at the last minute, was a no-show/no call on occasions when he said he'd call/show up, never gave any explantation for why he was hot and cold, etc, etc, etc. Now I am at a point where I have realized things with him are at a dead end and I deserve to be with someone who likes me back (who knew!). I'm a feeler and a sensitive person, so I'm still gutted that he could turn up the romance one moment and then become so cold and distant the next moment. Not to mention that regardless of whether or not he likes me back, he was amazingly interesting (a LOT of baggage) and I will just miss talking to and having such a dynamic person in my life. (Also, when I foolishly thought it was going to work out, I told him a lot of things about myself in return. So I feel he's got leverage.) The timeline of our fling was scant, but long enough for me to be reeling over it. Also, we were just seriously dating and not in a commited relationship ("It's my responsibility, you don't owe nothing to me, but to walk away I have no capacity"- in the words of Amy Winehouse). After seeking the counsel of many a friend and my supermom, I have concluded that it is best for me NOT to contact this guy anymore and to just move on. My mother has this theory that he will come around, and when he does (whether it's in a few days, a few weeks, or even a few months) to address my concerns then. I have experienced this exact same thing with another guy who DID come back, so I trust my mom. She says I should let it be, and whenever he decides to contact me next (if it's within a REASONABLE time frame--obviously in a few months or a year it'll be moot), just casually and kindly drop in the hint that I'm just not the type of girl who you can flake out on, not call, etc. She also cites that guys can be like this, and then in a couple of weeks, contact you like nothing ever happened! LOL. But this guy is floating so aimlessly through life that I have ZERO faith that he will reach out to me anytime soon (keyword being "soon"). I know he's in a weird transition period, and that he's struggling with some demons and that all these things make him an unreliable person. But in the meantime, I am contantly questioning what in the hell happened, why he did it, and what did I do to provoke or deserve it?? I'm just so gutted and I know the only way I'll be able to process this heartbreak (yes, to me it's a heartbreak) is to have an explanation. So should I ignore the advice of my mom, and eventually contact this guy for some answers and some closure that I SOOO crave? Or should I just dust my shoulders off, leave it alone, see if he contacts me, and move on with my life. Also, does he even OWE me an explanation? Forreal though.   Sigh.   Boyfriend a multi dealbreaker and cheater May 14, 2012 3:44 AM Hi,   So my boyfriend of five years have used this cam2cam site, and payed for webcam hooker performances... I said I couldn't deal with this, and he promised he wouldn't ever do it again. Ofcourse he did. again and again. So I broke up with him, and was rather content with the fact that I was now on my own. But he came crawling after a month or so, claiming he had learned his lesson and wouldn't risk losing me again. He also got a job that requires him away for the week, only to come home during the weekends. Long story short, I forgave him and after a while I genuinely started to trust him again, thinking that I was happy I forgave him the last time cause he did actually seem like a changed man. However, since he had broke my trust I asked him every now and again if he had had any interaction with online women and so on. Last time he told me "we're so happy and things are so great between us now, that I wouldn't risk destroying that". Well... I am now sitting here, wrecked all over again... This weekend I really looked forward to spending time with him, aching to sleep next to him. We have had a wonderful relationship lately. Although not freakishly hot in the sack, but thats due to alot of things, and he never wanted to talk about what we lack in bed, cause "sex wasn't something to talk about, it was something you do". Anyways, I'm sitting here now, feeling like a used up rug, stomache ache, heartache - you name it, I've got an ache for it. I loved this man with all my heart, and I so deeply wanted to believe he was a changed man, and eventually I almost did. But this friday morning when I was leaving for work (he works monday - thursday) I got this feeling in my stomache, it was pretty heavy, to check his phone. So I did (I was also open regarding this last time we had a break-up over similar things, that I would check his phone when I felt insecure until I trusted him again and he was fine with that) and I found that he had been paying for webcam hooker performances, been on this sex site where you upload genital pics, personal ads and arrange sexmeetings with other people. He had liked a post from another user who asked some girl if she was ever in the small town where he works all week - and he had been on an escorte service checking for girls in the area where he works all week, and also girls in the town where we live (?!?). I left a note, left for work, came home, he apologized - I said it was over, afterall I told him this the last time so he should have been aware of it. He claims that deep down inside i also know that he never fucked anyone else, and wouldn't do it either. But does that really matter ? And why the fuck should I trust anything he says ? Afterall he broke a promise that really meant everything to me - I desperately wanted to be with this man for the rest of my life. But how does anyone rise after so many falls ? Is there any reason that he will ever change ? I'm having trouble believing that he doesn't love me after all we've been through together, but can that really be the case ? Have I been unloved in such a loving relationship for five fucking years ?? Is it normal to check out prostitutes in your area, "just out of curiosity"? In my opinion, no. But I've read up on the web that many others does this out of curiosity. Also, paying for cam hookers performing anal squirts after I have pointed out my utter disgust for this behaviour (Dont get me wrong, if he'd asked me to do the same things on a webcam I'd be all in, cause thats just naughty'n'nice - it's the fact that he went on "having sex" with other live girls without me). Am I fooling myself if I were to believe that he physically fucked another? Not that it matters, cause he broke a promise and lies to my face, these questions are for me only, I'm just trying to keep my sanity. I'm not looking for excuses to take him back, cause I'm done with these battles, they're all just re-runs now. We bought a house together, have a cat together (can you believe he talked about buying a car together the day before I found this out?), but since he is away during the week I want us to finish renovating the house so we both can earn quite a bit when we sell. Does that sound way too self-destructive ? We wont see eachother much. Ben Eager Jersey May 14, 2012 12:15 AM "It warn't his fault.... The cards are too close.... It'll happen again.... He's got three kids at home," broke from the operatives; and suddenly a voice exclaimed "Here's his wife now," and the crowd divided to make way for Mrs. Dillon, who, passing through the farther end of the room, had been waylaid and dragged toward the group. She hung back, shrinking from the murderous machine, which she beheld for the first time since her husband's accident; then she saw Amherst, guessed the identity of the lady at his side, and flushed up to her haggard forehead. Mrs. Dillon had been good-looking in her earlier youth, and sufficient prettiness lingered in her hollow-cheeked face to show how much more had been sacrificed to sickness and unwholesome toil. "Oh, ma'am, ma'am, it warn't Jim's fault--there ain't a steadier man living. The cards is too crowded," she sobbed out. Some of the other women began to cry: a wave of sympathy ran through the circle, and Mrs. Westmore moved forward with an answering exclamation. "You poor creature...you poor creature...." She opened her arms to Mrs. Dillon, and the scrubber's sobs were buried on her employer's breast. "I will go to the hospital--I will come and see you--I will see that everything is done," Bessy reiterated. "But why are you here? How is it that you have had to leave your children?" She freed herself to turn a reproachful glance on Amherst. "You don't mean to tell me that, at such a time, you keep the poor woman at work?" Martin Havlat Jersey John Madden Jersey Marty Turco Jersey Nick Leddy Jersey Adam Burish Jersey Brian Campbell Jersey Cristobal Huet Jersey Jeremy Morin Jersey Ben Eager Jersey I dont want to end up being like her... but then again shes all I have May 13, 2012 10:39 PM Someone please help me. I have some family issues. Let me start of with my mom. I love my mom but I cant stand the way she is. Her thoughts are very old fashioned. Let me give some examples she said I cant move out until I'm married (which is totally not going to happen, I plan to move out when Im 25 married or not) she doesn't let me or my brother go to clubs because according to her people put drugs in your drinks and start fights with you (I know both of these two things happen but I mean c'mon I know better) so once my brother went and she practically disowned him for like a week. She shows me off everywhere saying that I could do this and that and that. She is very judgmental of other people, and when I dont agree with her she gets mad. She could find any excuse to fight with us, if a fly passes by she could pick a fight about it. Her facial expression is always tired, sad, angry. Im tired of it, I love her but I cant stand her ways. I'm scared that I m ganna end up being like her. I know I could choose the way I live my life but monkey see monkey do. I m already starting to notice some things that I do that she does. But then again shes practically all i have in the country we live in. I do have a brother and a stepfather but my stepF prefers to be with his family and my brother prefers to be with his gf family. so im left alone with her, since I dont have a bf or that many friends and I feel bad if I leave her alone. Speaking of my brother Im so dissapointed in him because today we came back from a little gathering his gf family had and oh my he was so loving and social at the gathering and everybody loved him and knew him then I think of the times hes home and hes so different its like he prefers to be with that other family. He doesnt like the way my mom is either. When hes home he is so distant from us and is out practically the whole day everyday with the gf. He gets mad/irratated when we talk to him. But no when hes over with her family or just his gf hes a completely different person and my stepdad does the same thing when his with his family. So I'm left with my mom and her negative attitude and I dont want to be like her Im trying to see things I do the same as her and change them but ughhh its all genetics and habitual behavior that its practically now natural to act the way she does. Im just so sad at this whole situation. I love spending time with my mom and love her to death and I'm thankful of everything shes done for us both, but her negative attitude, Prohibitions and old fashioned thinking make me have resentment towards her. Then my brother, I have never seen him act so loving with us or any body of our family when they come to visit. Please help me on both situations. Thanks . Oh by the way I'm 21 and hes 23. Insulted and Offended by a Friend May 13, 2012 6:44 PM A friend of mine expressed interest in subletting my apartment over the summer, as I am leaving for the summer and obviously will not be using my apartment during those months. We started going into details about the apartment: how much rent would be, utilities included, etc. He is a friend, so I have been more generous with him than I would for anyone else. Namely: he will only be paying about 60% of the monthly rent that I pay; I am leaving behind a lot of food and drink items that he is more than welcome to take; I am leaving behind the portable air conditioner for him to use, at no extra cost to monthly rent (even though it will undoubtedly suck up the electricity bill); I am allowing him to use my car (as long as he pays for gas); I am paying for all utilities, as well as electricity and trash tags (which will amount to about $4 every time he disposes of a garbage bag); I am not charging a clean-up fee or a security deposit; and I'm letting him store his stuff with me for the month before he'll move in for the summer, at no extra charge. I believe I have been very generous. He agreed to my terms, saying that the rent was fairly priced and all that. I drew up a contract, he reviewed it, and then he agreed to sign it with me in person the following week. Then, when he finally shows up at the appointed date, presumably to sign the contract, he makes a huge fuss over the charge for rent. Now all of a sudden, he's changed his mind. He thinks the rent is too expensive, and he wants it lowered by another $100. I don't think I'd be as upset if he had mentioned this to me earlier, before he told me the rent was fairly priced and that he was more than willing to pay it. Mind you, we had previously negotiated to lower the rent from about 80% to about 60% of what I pay. I can't understand why he would want it lowered even more, and I'm very hurt by this sudden change. I feel that he is trying to take advantage of my kindness towards him. His demand for me to lower the rent is both insulting and offensive, and he can't understand why I feel the way I do about his change. To top that off, I have given him plenty of time to back out of subletting my apartment. I've kept asking him if he still wants to do so, and each time he said yes. I was so certain he would sign the contract today, and now he's backing out. Well, he says he isn't backing out. He still wants the apartment; he just doesn't want to pay the rent I am charging. It's like he's bullying me until I give up and agree to lower the rent. I know he wants the apartment, and he's kind of screwed if he tries finding another one. He needs the apartment in less than a month, so he has very little time. Anyway, I repeatedly asked him if he still wanted to sublet the apartment so that I could have ample time to find another subletter if I wanted (or just leave the apartment free of a subletter). I've told him that if he doesn't want to pay the rent I am charging, then he should look elsewhere because I will not lower it anymore. Am I wrong to be stubborn like that, or should I lower the rent another 10% or so just for him? I think I'd be happier if I didn't sublease the apartment at all. I keep bending over backwards to please my friends, this one included, when they never do the same for me. I feel taken advantage of. The issue at hand isn't so much about money as it is about my bruised feelings. I also feel that he is unreliable and wishy-washy. Since I had previously lowered the rent and added on a few extra perks, he's now asking for more. What if I give in, and he again asks for more? What if he signs the contract, and then decides he wants to live elsewhere? He knows I'd never pursue legal charges against him for breaking the contract. What if he doesn't pay me on time, or he doesn't pay me the correct amount? I'm getting so stressed out and upset over this.